In the middle of the night on Thursday I woke my husband up because I had to share a dream I had where my yoga teacher told me I was in labor. In the very real dream I told her that can’t be because I am only 33 weeks and she looked at me with all the wisdom of the universe and said, “Well, you are in labor anyways.” Now I was in fact having really bad cramping which was what woke me up, but I was sure I just had a touch of the stomach flu and the back ache was simply because I had walked too far barefoot on the beach.
By Friday afternoon my husband uses the dreaded phrase “pre-term labor” and I shut him down. I explained away all the very logical reasons for the symptoms I was having and then I say ok fine, read me the list of symptoms. I have more than 1/2 so I finally agree to call the Dr. even though I am mostly sure I just have a little upset stomach and a strained back. Of course they say to come in so I do that thing I do and say… we should probably straighten the house first! So we spend an hour doing some light cleaning and gathering all the things we need… including my fertility goddess and head to the car.
A few hours later I am in the hospital on the monitors and the angelic nurse comes in and says it’s great we came in because I am in fact having regular contractions. She assures me they are going to do whatever they can to stop this, but if baby is coming it will be ok. With each pressure wave (what we call contractions), I get to practice my self-hypnosis techniques for the pain and it turns out it works. She starts explaining the side effects of the medication they need to give me that will essentially feel like I drank too much coffee and am having a massive anxiety attack, but will stop the contractions. I take a deep breath and say ok.
And then I realize it… the power of intention manifested. The power of intention and what we say can be a bit tricky. For weeks now I’ve been saying all we really need is a safe 4 door car and a car seat and we’ll be ready for baby to come. Now of course that is a gross overstatement when you look at my to do list and all the “things” we need and things we need to complete. I need to finish my taxes, clean out of the garage, have a stroller, sheets for his co-sleeper, blah, blah, blah. Thursday when this all started, we got a car seat gifted to us. We came home on Thursday and there it was on our doorstep gifted to us from our registry. Oh and that other piece… my husband picked up a brand new 4 door car Thursday morning. A RENTAL because he got into a car accident the week before, but a new car none the less. We officially had the two things I had been saying we really needed before the baby could come.
I explained the error in my communication to our sweet little one, took the awful drugs to stop contractions and went home in the wee hours of the morning Saturday. I snuggled into bed and slept for about 2 hours when I awoke to more contractions.
They said to come back if they got stronger, longer, or had other major signs like water breaking. We were now at 4 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute by noon and of course when I called they said to come now.
Earlier that day we did all the things we know to do- we asked for divine guidance, we asked for prayers, good thoughts, baby stay in dances, Reiki, whatever people wanted to offer. And because I am doing Hynobabies as my birth prep our teacher and doula recommended we download the “Baby Stay In” track which I listened to over and over.
And we had a really frank conversation with baby about the reality of coming at 33 weeks after talking to our doula. We love that he is excited because we are to, but we explained how it would likely go… that it would be another month before he got to come home because he’d be having to finish growing and developing in the ICU. And so we did what we think most parents would have done… we went to a little bribery. We promised to sing every day, snuggle, and love him up if he stays in. We talked about how much fun the next 7 weeks can be. He can sleep at home with us, eat yummy food with us, go places with us every single day if he stays in.
I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I have officially turned it over to the hand of the divine. I did in fact sleep at home last night. I keep listening to our Hypnobabies track and it lulls me to sleep. We just keep saying March, March, March. Stay in until March. And so we pray, we listen to our Keep Baby In track, and trust all is divinely guided. And in the moment I really trust we are being cradled in the hand of the divine. And just for safe measure if any of you want to send baby stay in safely energy to us, it will be gratefully received. And I will likely keep chanting March, March March!